Day 116

​Zero day.. for the most part

I got up early and walked the 50 feet to the cafe. Before making myself sick,  I actually wanted to enjoy a nice breakfast, so I ordered an omelette and two sides of breakfast potatoes.  After that,  I resupplied at the store and laid down in the grass.  My strategy was to wait two hours before attempting the pancake challenge.  In 4 years,  only 2 people (out of hundreds) had ever completed it.  Your prize…free pancakes and a stomach ache.  
Rambler made it in around 10 am,  and 30 minutes later he was sitting with me at a table as I awaited my flapjacks. The challenge was to eat 5, they said most couldn’t finish even 1. 
When they finally came out,  I was speechless.  This were the biggest godawful pancakes I’ve ever laid witness to.  They dwarfed the pancakes from Duncannon, Pennsylvania.  I picked up the platter; it easily weighed 8 to 10 pounds.  What human being could eat all of this?  

I had two hours to finish them from the moment of my first bite.  It took me 12 minutes to eat the first one; I was stuffed,  but I kept at it.  I folded them up,  dipped them in syrup, and ate them like a sandwich. 

I finished the second pancake after one miserable hour from the first bite.  I wanted to quit; I was in agony, and my jaw muscles were cement. When I was about to throw in the towel,  rambler informed me that if I ate half of the next pancake,  plus one more bite,  I could say “I ate the majority of it.” This logic was uncontestable, and the waitress said that if I could do it,  then I’d be an above average failure.  This compliment blew a second wind into my sails as I took a bite of my third pancake.  I’d do anything to be an above average loser instead of just an “average” one.  

 

More than 30 minutes later,  I finished that half,  then tore off one more bite of the second half.  VICTORY…sort of. My jaw had locked up on this last half,  and I had to drink water with every bite to soften the pancakes.  My saliva glands were dry.  I almost threw up from the disgusting combination of water and pancake,  but in the end persevered.  I kept telling myself “mind like a steel trap” with every bite.  It worked,  surprisingly. 

I passed out on the grass for two hours after the challenge, totally miserable.  I wasn’t going anywhere today.  

This day ended up being mostly a zero day.  There was more to it before it ended, but I’ll save that story for another time.  

5 Comments

  1. Hilarious! Where did they find a skillet that large? So glad you made it to an above average loser. That’s an accomplishment.

    Like

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